DREAM & HUSTLE POST

It’s the Woman Fault if Her Man Cheats on Her
Posted on August 29, 2009 by Ed



You know, I’m tired of listening to Black talk radio shows and you got some woman calling in the show screaming about men are no good and they cheated on her. Sista please, ain’t no man cheated on your behind – dude just chose to f*ck another woman beside you. And when you sistas talk about men who cheated on you, it says a lot more about who you sista choose to let penetrate you than it says about men in general you trying to spit vitriol at. So let’s real talk about this whole “cheating” ish because I’m so tired of hearing about it and the stupid ass rationale behind this “cheating” subject. And I’m tired of Black radio keep using this “cheating” crap to boost ratings – even Al Sharpton reduced his radio show to this type of ish.

First of all, if you are not married, there is no such thing as cheating – you take your ass on somewhere and get over the fact you was engaged in fornication. How you going to get mad someone “cheated” on you but you having sex without being married? Sistas trying to treat bad behavior like a salad bar – thinking she can pick and choose saying a man cheating on her is messed up but she engaging in fornication is okay and excusable?

Real talk, what the f*ck is that sh*t about ? Girlfriends need to go shut the f*ck up if they are not married and be talking about how dude cheated on them. Sistas do not even realize they make themselves look like whores because why they f*cking uncommitted to unmarried dudes and talking about cheating? Real brothas don’t want to marry some stupid ho like that, we just want to f*ck them and drive off tired and laughing that we hit it..haha. Only if a sista is married,then she can have true recourse about “cheating”, so let’s keep it honest about who get “cheated on” and who is just out there fornicating and being a ho.

Second and this is the most important thing, Sistas make the ultimate decision about the kind of brotha she ends up with. Men do not club women over the head and drag them into caves by their hair, we stopped doing that type of ish 10,000 B.C. There is no arranged marriage going on here in the USA except among certain cultures but those people are not the ones calling up the Black radio stations talking about their man cheated on them. With all of that said, it really boils down to one thing – the sista is the one who chosen the guy, laid on her back, spread her legs and gave dude the okay to penetrate her. And that is the bottom line issue to all of this cheating ish. Men do not cheat on women because the reality is women choose these men who will cheat on her.

See, some women have this little problem of having a strong desire for men who have undesirable qualities. These same women think they can convert that sorry ass dude as “her man” to show off to everyone out there. She is the one humming that stupid ass old school song by the SOS band “I don’t care what you do to them, just be good to me” they still play on the radio – That SOS song is the most dangerous self-defeating lyrics that ever been played on Black radio.



Do you notice its a certain class of sistas out there that do not worry about a man cheating on her? No smartass, I’m not talking about lesbians not worried about a man cheating on her, I’m talking about heterosexual women who don’t have to worry about a man cheating on her. These type of “no woman, no cry” sistas who don’t worry about cheating men possess certain qualities that are extremely obvious but these other drama sistas who tune into the Michael Baisden show don’t want to hear, even though they know it’s true. So let’s break down the obvious to these sistas that want to run off the mouth about her man cheating on her and she don’t realize it’s really all her fault.

#1 Stop Thinking You American Sistas Can Market Sex to a Real Brotha

If you are an American sista and think just having xx-24-39 measurements is going to get you a good real man, you are as delusional as f*ck. Brothas can easily whip out their passport and find xx-24-39 in other countries by the dozen. You American sistas should see some of personal Brazil pics your boyfriend got, where he got eight xx-24-42 Brazilian sistas in the same Frederick’s of Hollywood outfit all in the doggy style position waiting for him to have his way with them. And he runs through all of them like a buffet line playing roulette with his d*ck. And he paid under $400 for the experience, real talk. And yet, you American sistas walking around in America with your nose up in the air thinking your curves and booty suppose to turn these real brothas on, lol!

As I stated on this blog, globalization did more than outsource jobs, it gave even the $40K middle class brothas options to find a thick and sexy sista overseas and bring her home as his wife. Skip House Hunter International, they need to do a show called Ho Hunter International because that’s how real brothas getting down in 2009. This is really more common than a Black American woman wants to know. I have been at airports in Latin America where I’m seeing some chica with a well-shaped culo and she come to me and tells me about her Black man who lives on the South Side of Chicago or Silver Springs she going to visit just to get f*cked.

So basically, you American sistas cannot sell sexuality to real brothas in 2009 to infinity because the worldwide market has opened up for brothas to have options. You American sistas need to bring more than sex to the table to get a real man. The only ones who going to be interested in an American sista trying to sell just her sexuality is a lightweight dude with issues who is just interested in sex. Then you sistas wondering why he checking out the next girl for sex..

You sistas need to bring real ish to the table besides having a big booty. You need to show a brotha you about getting paper just like him. You need to show a brotha you will be his best friend and will be down with him and make sure he is down with you. You need to bring real sh*t that Black American sistas got that no other woman in this world can bring to the table. You cannot show me the equivalent of a Michelle Obama anywhere outside the United States of America and you probably never will – this is the kind of woman real brotha want and expects from American sistas and yall sistas better step your game up from just wearing tight jeans.

The most important thing a sista can offer a man is the ability to smile at him, even as the world is going to sh*t. The smile is one of the most powerful weapons a woman got to attract and motivate men. This goes back to Brazil – a brotha going down to Brazil and he see xx-24-40 sistas smiling and waving at him and trying to have conversations with him, how you think that will impact him when all he saw back in the United States was Americans sistas looking mean all the f*cking time and act like they can’t smile or even say hi to brothas?

# 2 Stop Fooling Yourself Sistas, the Only Real Man is the One that Married Your Mother and Loved His Little Princess.

One of the things a real brotha looks for in a sista is if she had her father in her life and how her father held down the family. This factor alone is the most critical factor in the development of a real woman and this is not debatable. You will hear some people try to throw salt saying this is not true because they will try to point out one or two exceptions – those people are most likely bitter because their dad wasn’t sh*t to them and they want everybody else to feel the same sh*tty experience they had growing up. I know that’s painful to say but nothing is more painful than lying to oneself about the power of a father in a household, especially for the daughters.

Think about prom night. If the brotha walks up to the door and all he see is a single mom, that brotha already got in his mind he is going to f*ck his prom date like a cheap slut in his mom car. But if that same brotha walks up to the door and her father, a real man walks up and want to see who wants his daughter, that brotha will show that sista some respect and that brotha will respect her and have respectable fear of her father while he is with her.

And here is the real kicker – you sistas should see the kind of father the brotha has. See if the father was a hard worker and had his son earning instead of spoiling him. See if the father is some wannabee playa and now got his son acting like a wannabee playa. If the father was not in the home, then see if the mother had her son acting like a “little man” or had her son doing whatever he wanted to do as long as he was back by curfew. Going back to the prom example, a real single mom would be there at the door with her son to meet his female prom date and her parents to let them all know her son is going to show the little princess respect – that’s how a real single mom gets down.

The problem that is going on in relationships is brothas and sistas want to deny the vision of good love, good relationships as being a good father or mother to their kids and having their kids grow up and be somebody good to someone. Brothas and sistas want to talk this independent ish, this silly playa ish they talk about as if that is what matters when all is said and done. I stopped going to shallow ass people funerals because I end up quietly laughing to myself at how the person laying in the casket lived a selfish vain material life and the pastor trying to make up fairy tales as if that person truly did something for society and their kids while they was alive. I just be there to eat some chicken and fish at the wake, watch the family argue over the Social Security benefits and then try to get with one of deceased female cousins who look good in that black one-piece dress.

See, some of you sistas be chasing these men who don’t have the qualities of a good father or don’t know what a good father is. A good father is more important than a good husband and only a selfish female would not realize this statement. Any dude can be a husband, just take his ass to marriage court and sign papers and ish. But it takes cultivation to make a man a father and the kind of man you want to marry need to be a father more than a husband. A good father wants to bring home money to feed the kids. A good father wants to do better in life so his kids can grow up doing better. A good father will be there for the school play, the father-daughter dance and when the first boyfriend show up. And a good father will be there every day to let their kids know he is there for them.

No one can guarantee a man will be there for you sistas forever, but you sistas can know and tell if dude is willing to be there for the kids. If that dude is on some ish that is not about the future, not about the ability to provide for the kids, that dude ain’t sh*t and that’s real as it gets. You be surprised how many sistas are 40 years old and they just figured this out the hard way, after spending the last 20 years getting f*cked by dudes with no purpose. And any sista who claim she like to f*ck without purpose is lying her ass off. Even strippers and hookers be having feelings for dudes they f*cking so ain’t no regular sista going to tell me they can screw who they want to screw with no feelings or regrets.

And spare me and everyone else the argument or rationale these lame ass brothas be giving good sex. I’m tired of sistas talking about certain dudes can give good sex, which is a lie and a myth. Any brotha can learn how to effectively lubricate the labia minora, erect the clitoris and agitated the vaginal internal erogenous zone to make a woman have an arousing sexual experience leading up to an orgasmic climax. So spare me the bullsh*t about some lame ass knucklehead thug or deadbeat that can give you sistas good sex because you can get good sex from any brotha who have knowledge of the female anatomy and creative ways to stimulate. So stop making sex excuses and get a real brotha who actually can like you for who you sistas are as a woman.

Bottom line, you sistas need to start messing with brothas who at the least can show they know how to be a father. Because if a man does not have the qualities to be a father, it really ain’t sh*t he can do for you sistas and he can never show you the kind of love a father-base man knows how to show his family. Always look for father qualities before looking for a boyfriend or husband.

# 3 Stop Playing Games and Setting Rules on Relationship Because You Can’t

Sistas need to realize they cannot play games or set rules on relationship. Either the dude is with you or he is not. Sistas can’t be running around talking this “let’s be friends first” or “he needs to show me he loves me” type of bullsh*t. To be honest, a sista should never have to say sh*t like that anyway because a real brotha would set the tone when he approach. If he wants to be your friend, he would approach you sistas like that. If the brotha just want to bend you sistas over, penetrate deep , ejaculate quick and move on, he will let you sistas know that also by the way he approach. The fact a sista even say ish like “we need to be friends first” tells me that sista is confused and don’t know how to trust her instincts and gut when dudes step to her. Most dudes translate “let’s be friend first” as he is going to play along with her game until he get to f*ck her.

When sistas try to set rules and expectations, what she don’t realize is what she done was sabotage the relationship before she even met a man. How is a brotha and sista suppose to be down with each other when she made up rules about the relationship without his input? Think about that for a minute? That’s already a f*cked up way to start a relationships, having these stupid ass rules instead of sitting down and just talking directly to dude about what a sista want and expect out of a relationship.

Real brothas don’t even f*ck around with sistas who got “rules” because it is a clue she got a hidden agenda. The best strategy for sistas is to come to a table with a clear mind and treat the new brotha as an unique experience. And with a clear mind, the sista and brotha both need to talk about what they can do for each other, what they want, what they like and what they won’t put up with on the first day. Sistas need to be honest about sex and instead of talking about “friends first” she should be say what’s really on her mind telling a brotha she likes to be fully lubricated and aroused before getting penetrated so a brotha can understand upfront what he needs to do. And brothas need to be upfront with you sistas instead of saying BS lines like “I respect your virtues”, he should be honest and admit he want to hear you sistas sound like you enjoying sex from him even if he can’t keep it up and can’t keep it in. This is the honest type of discussions brothas and sistas need to bring to the table at the beginning instead of playing games.

The real reason why relationships go sour is because people were playing games and they got mad because the other person is not subscribing to the “rules” or “games” that the other person wanted.

So in summary and I know this was a long blog entry, sistas need to understand that it is her fault if her man cheats on her. Because after all, it’s “her man” and she is the one that choose him and labeled him as “her man” and she need to remember that. The reality is men do not cheat on women, men just choose to f*ck someone else. Cheating implies there is some “rule” and it basically boils down to the brotha just didn’t have no respect for the “rule” or the person who made the rule up.

Sistas need to promote qualities other than sex. Due to globalization and emerging economies, the only thing cheaper than an outsourced IT worker is a big butt and a smile. Sistas need to bring real qualities to the table like being a friend and a true partner instead of trying to sell a guy exclusive rights to have sexual intercourse with her.

Sistas need to learn how to choose quality men first and foremost. A quality man is one that knows at the base level how to be a good father. If he does not have the qualities of being a good father, then that dude don’t got ish worth talking about or bragging about when all is said and done. Build the relationship at the core of having a man who can be a good father, not someone who brags about money and bling.

In addition, sistas need to be upfront and honest with a brotha instead of making up rules. A brotha will appreciate a sista that is upfront and honest than one that play games. What most sistas don’t understand is the “other woman” was more likely upfront with dude on getting the p*ssy while the main squeeze brought games and rules to the table. Sistas will have to learn how to be upfront and straightforward with a man and that is the best way to keep him loyal. I never met a man and from my own experience, never thought or had the inkling of a thought of “cheating” on a woman who basically told a brotha up front how she liked to get f*cked and let a brotha get it anyway a brotha want to get it. That’s why brothas are running down to Brazil and coming back to America walking around with a silly smirk on their face. Because if a sista is talking about her man is cheating on her, that means she is not the number #1 slut to her man and she is probably a lame f*ck.

Once a sista understand how to bring real qualities to the table other than sex, how to pick and choose real brothas and be upfront about f*cking at the start of the relationship, then she will not be on Black radio blabbing at the mouth about her man cheating on her and all men ain’t ish.